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How to Choose a Funeral Home (Mortuary) or Crematory

It is very wise to do some research regarding mortuaries and/or crematories before the actual time of need, before you are in a state of acute grief. You will be able to think more clearly and take your time. Of course, this is not always doable, and you may be first facing this task immediately following a loss.

The tendency for most families is to call the funeral home that is closest geographically or the one where the last family funeral was held. But that does not make that funeral home the best option for your needs. A funeral is one of the larger purchases made in a lifetime, and the pricing can vary as much as 40% between mortuaries, not to mention there being a vast difference in the way that services are provided.

Making phone calls and/or visiting a mortuary while anticipating a death may feel awkward or inappropriate, but doing so will relieve the burden of making those decisions under stress, allowing you to make informed choices.

The following information is intended to get you started with the process:

  • The first thing to clarify is whether burial or cremation is desired.

  • Start by making phone calls to two or three mortuaries or crematories. They are legally required to give you pricing over the phone without your giving them any of your personal information. Some also have their price lists posted on their websites.

  • Do NOT feel you have to call the funeral home in your hometown, your neighborhood or the one that family or friends have used in the past. It may be the most expensive option around! Do not hesitate to call funeral homes or crematories within a 50 mile radius.

  • You have the right to purchase only the funeral goods and services that you want and can afford. You do not have to buy a “package”. At a time of grieving, often families will spend more than they can afford, in some way as an expression of their love, or in compensation for regrets. Just be aware of this possibility as you go through the process and be conscious of your budget.

  • Even beyond pricing considerations, pay attention to the way you are treated on the phone, which will be an indication as to how you will be treated in person during a tender time.

  • If you narrow it down to one or two mortuaries, you can drop by without calling ahead to ask for a tour and to receive a full general price list (GPL), which they are legally bound to give you to take home.

  • Know that if you are planning a direct cremation without a memorial service, or a memorial service at home, at a place of worship, outdoors, etc., it is not necessary to involve a mortuary at all. A crematory may provide all the services you need.

  • Once your decision is made, you can meet directly with the funeral home or crematory for what they refer to as an “arrangement conference”. This can happen at their location or possibly in your own home.

What To Do When You Can't Afford a Funeral

 Advice from Josh Slocum, former FCA executive director  

 "The most important thing to remember is that a meaningful, heartfelt memorial doesn't need to cost more than your family can afford. Whether you spend $600 or $10,000, you'll love and miss the deceased just as much. It's the coming together of family and friends to laugh, cry, and love each other that makes a funeral meaningful, not the amount of money it costs. 

​And this is crucial: there is no charity or government organization that will pay off any debt you've accrued if you arrange a  funeral that's beyond your means. It's your family's responsibility to spend within its budget. Funeral homes are not required to let you pay in installments; many these days are asking for payment upfront. While this might seem frustrating, it's a responsible business practice and it prevents many grieving people from falling into a financial trap when they're not thinking clearly. Sweating the monthly bills six months after the death because the funeral payments are high does not, I assure you, help lift the burden of grief." 

 There are some suggestions for creative ways to economize, and otherwise pay for funeral or memorial expenses on the FCA website.

Advance Planning

Price Comparisons & Affordability 

For Families

Body Donation Resources

Dementia

  • Dementia Values and Priorities Tool -  this tool is to help early-stage dementia patients make clear decisions about the course of their care/illness for the benefit of their loved ones. 

  • Dementia Decoder -   this decision tree/ checklist process helps guide you in your control of the future course of treatment and your end of life choices.  

  • Compassion & Choices Values Tool - this tool helps a person create a Dementia Directive to add to their Advance Directives.